Again

by FATIMAH ASGHAR

 

my younger self

is on the bed

 

next to you.

again.

 

my now-body

next to a new sleeping

 

lover, & yet

my now-body

 

in the room

all over

 

& now I have a choice.

save her or watch.

 

you keep bringing me

here, you who

 

keeps her pinned

& I’m annoyed

 

to be in this

room again

 

the moldy lampshade

& empty walls

 

the faucet that won’t

quit, its steady

 

drip the whole night

miles/years away

 

miles/years away

my younger self

 

is on the bed

next to you

 

my younger

legs wound around

 

the heavy moat

of your waist

 

my younger stomach

a lake which you

 

boat through

my younger self

 

knows I’m in the room

looks for me

 

above/ in the corner

my younger wrists

 

sink to the ocean’s

bed my younger

 

ears shells to hear

my younger

 

voice a bubble

in the room

 

it’s hard

to understand

 

I see your point

I guess

 

what a no sounds like

below water