I dreamed my mother condemned

by JESSICA LEE

 

my lingerie      I’d accidentally sent her a photo
of myself in the new black      cling-wrap
meant for my lover      my thumbs go loose
after 2 a.m.      so I typed m instead of g
Freudian slip though               maybe              seeking
my mother’s approval             of my barest while
decorated form            the appeal of opposites
soft skin, rough fish                net lace
buttoned up the back of my neck         one two
three    high cut on the hips too           one cut out
between my breasts     I could see her                          face
                        even though it was a text         her eyes crazed
as they’d been when she         caught me                   
pink-faced       with the Victoria’s Secret catalogue
at age      nine marking            all the lingerie I wanted
for my one-day            trousseau         she told me
it was all provocative               trash that real
women’s bodies didn’t            look like that                yet
                        here was her daughter             looking like that
                        this is repulsive           she said
                                                                        don’t ever do it again